The Great Pie Hunt

Pie_004
Call to ACTION!

Minding my own business in Kingfisher, GCG; a bird flits over and sits besides me.

“What’s up, boyo?” he asks.

“Soaking up the sim,” says I.

“Did yer get some pie yet?” he queries.

“Um,” I respond carefully.

“It’s National Blueberry Pie Day, and no mistake, boyo!” claims my little friend, the bird.

“Today!? Where!? Where can I get some pie?” I panicked through a series of images of being the only Avatar Without Pie at a dance or a convention about Blueberry Pie.

“Hyargh, hyargh, hyarggg-huh!” croak-laughs the Bird. “Time to get off yer fat, boyo.”

And thus,

The Great Hunt For Blueberry Pie

begins in The Great Canadian grid. Knowing pie as I do, the suburbs called to me.

Pie_001
Mickey Rooney could have found, like, a 1,000 pies.

I hunted through several back yards looking for the pie cooling on a window ledge. Oddly enough I didn’t find one; I expected multiple blueberry pies on window ledges on National Blueberry Pie Day.

I checked up the hill by the Lighthouse and Museum, because a national event like Blueberry Pie Day was probably outlined in the Museum displays, and naturally, a pie would be available.

You know who likes pie and ALWAYS has pie on hand? Bakers, probably.

Pie_008_picmonkeyed
I wanted you to hear “Yes” in your head when I asked.

As I was entering the warehouse district I happened across a pair of mated raccoons who happily lived along the edge of the forest and the garbage bins. A sweet band of existence. More importantly, Ms. Raccoon appeared to have a Blueberry Pie.

Apparently, she is saving it for the family dinner they always have on National Blueberry Pie Day. So I carefully thanked them and gracefully exited, over the roof-line of a nearby warehouse.

I did stop by the gas station to see if they had a Blueberry Pie-thingy in the vending displays, something that contained a blob of pretend blueberry product and could be microwaved into an edible chew-toy, sort of thing. Nope.

Pie_010_picmonkeyed
IT’S IN THAT SHIP’S GALLEY! AM I WRONG!!?

I found a guy on the docks. He seemed nice. We chatted about the harbour, we chatted about his life at sea, we chatted about how nice to have a lazy day to relax (see what I did there?) and so I suggested since he’s all “relaxed”, he must be comfortable knowing he has blueberry pie hidden away in a galley mere steps away from us.

In retrospect, poking him on the chest while I mentioned this expectation, perhaps that was an error. He had some serious-looking hook thing to hang onto boats and kilts, it turns out.

Pie_006
Where there’s a will, and twenty-five Maple $, there’s a way.

I’m not one to easily bend to the powers of the nothing that surround us. I found pie. I had help making it blueberry. I looked for the convention, drum circle, celebration, party, dance, gathering, other person celebrating National Blueberry Pie Day. No luck there.

Next year. Cheers, Reyn 🙂

Google’s NikCollection – Photo Editing for FREE! — A Kat and A Mouse

I saw a blurb on one of my feeds several days ago about Google making their Nik Collection (a photo editing tool) free. You can read about it here. The software, which was previously sold for $149, is now being offered for free by Google. I, of course, tool whore that I am, immediately downloaded […]

via Google’s NikCollection – Photo Editing for FREE! — A Kat and A Mouse

Reyn’s Big AAdventure

PrintIt’s not often that I get a chance to go to a big city and see all the cool stuff. I guess they have more room or better taste or something. So I dressed carefully: fresh t-shirt; vacuumed kilt; mud-free boots, mostly-mud-free may be more accurate. Every girl is crazy about a sharp-dressed man.

I grabbed my smallish sketch book, licked my eyebrows nervously and hit the TP link in my inventory!

Pretty sweet place, that AAcme City!

And my etchings shall take us both there.

 

notebook-pages 03_picmonkeyednotebook-pages 05_picmonkeyednotebook-pages 07_picmonkeyednotebook-pages 04_picmonkeyednotebook-pages 01_picmonkeyednotebook-pages 02_picmonkeyednotebook-pages 06_picmonkeyednotebook-pages 08_picmonkeyednotebook-pages 09_picmonkeyed

Reyn peers at her in the half-light of the bar, noting how the blinking beer signs highlight her face in alternating patterns. “Come home with me to see my etchings,” he suggests.

She takes in his unkempt appearance and odd behaviors, but decides to reject him gently. “Oh pshaw, Reyn! You are such a silly.” She smiles kindly and waves her hand palm downward in a soft cat-paw dismissal.

She touches his shoulder, and smiles again as she slips off her stool.”You just finished telling me that all of your etchings are published on your blog.”

and so they are

Cheers, Reyn

http://login.greatcanadiangrid.ca:8002/AACME CITY

Raised Correctly

elephant-herd-on-trek-cate-mccauleyReyn asked me to be the guest columnist again. He says I should talk about fitting into the world of magik n stuff since my childhood wasn’t magikal.

As you know I was left in the wilds as a child and raised by the Elephants. I probably wasn’t the “Perfect Child” because I couldn’t lift a 400 lb log and occasionally strayed from the strict diet of leaves, grass, and water. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t a “Welcome Child”.  Mom and the Aunts were always shoving me away from eating too many grubs.

Canary Uncaged III
Drawing of Mom I keep in my loin cloth

Mom bellowed a lot but she bellowed with love. Except when she was bellowing a warning. And you have to understand a warning is love. If they didn’t love me they would just sneak away and leave me for the lions. It was a good life. The key thing is knowing the feel of the tone when Mom bellowed “HFnnnNNN” or “hfNNNnnn”. One meant “FREEZE WHERE YOU ARE OR YOU WILL DIE!”, The other meant “RUN LIKE HELL OR YOU WILL DIE!” You could always feel the love.

There was a lot of dying on the savannas.

Elephant Family TreesBut you had to learn your tones or there’s a pretty good chance you will die. I have the big cat and snake phobias to prove it. But the Elephants weren’t about dying; they are about living well, and safely. The Elephants taught me to live by a few rules:

  1. Don’t leave anyone behind.
  2. Even stinky mud is better than no mud.
  3. Always have a lookout when you go potty.
  4. Learn your tones.
  5. Baby lions aren’t the same thing as Kittens.

Dnongo Loves YouEverything I learnt there is something you can use except for some things. For example, when you like someone you can spray them with water from your nose. We used to laugh when D’ngongo, one of my siblings, used to spray me off my feet in the pond.

I liked him too; still miss him with his joie de vivre attitude and water-gun love.

But using that like-like indicator on a dinner date or at a party hasn’t worked out yet. So I have to remember that`s different now. When I was a student at Madame Burrury’s Finest School For Wizzards and Magikal Creatures School of Magik, Madame Burrury was always yelling at me to stop snorting my glass of water on the girls. “But I like ’em.” I’d tell her. She’d just yell something else.

You had to learn her tones too, because she was always yelling something: “TREY! STOP this instant! That is NOT a hotdog!” “TREY! If you pour that in there we will all die from blast compression – do you want THAT on your report card?!”

Well no one has died yet. Learned everything I needed from the Elephants, except how to dress for human interaction. Wearing black mud didn’t make it a formal occasion apparently. I have to get back to that gold into lead life project, with magick now and then.

Elephant Family Trees II
Dressed for Success

Calculated Passions

Treetop_002Passion is not easily defined, primarily, I believe, because the nature of passion is not objective. Passion is intensely personal. I know this, because I have thought it through. And there is the sticking point for me. I can offer passion, I can be passionate about something, I can ask others to be or not to be passionate about concepts. Yet how can I ever explain my passion clearly?

Kittens_001On a scale of 1 to 15 I decided.

Mathematically, “about cats” is the most prevalent positive post on the Internet. (I made that up.) (I don’t think I needed to make it up though.) And kittens are the cutest form of cat – therefore kittens are a “15”.

Kittens are a fifteen out of fifteen on a passion scale.

On the other end is anything pointless. Measuring the places I explore to get a passion-reading required some pretty sophisticated algorithms, chock-full of curly brackets and “carry the two” stuff, programmed into some custom, crazy electronics, repurposed into a mobile Passion-O-Meter sensitive to Kitteness to a level in parts per 1000 avatars.

Kittens_005
Reynfall Beer is dark and predictable.

Kitteness, measured in Kutes, is a universal standard and easily calculated once I have the regional reading, so it can be placed onto a relative scale with arbitrary scoring. So can anything, really. A scale of ten has insufficient granularity for my study, and a scale of twenty wouldn’t fit onto my piece of paper after 3 tries.

Overall, I worked harder on making the beer. I went to over 30 places, >30, looking for a mesh beer bottle. You think it would be the easiest thing, literally, in a world, to find. Nope, finally had to claw my way through Blender to get one into my inventory.

I decided that at this point, since the Passion-O-Meter has a beer holder designed to make exploration a more fulfilling process, that I should make my own brand of beer too. After the beer bottle was labeled and nestled into place, I found a place with mesh beer bottles. Same day. Can’t make this stuff up – just kitten facts.

Kittens_003
Powered by Wool-Leg Hair Interface Friction Static

So that is the Passion-O-Meter. I have been wearing it everywhere so I can provide Kutes readings while I explore worlds and write stuff down for VisionZ.

It is labeled version 2 because at first I thought Romance is a similar scale to Passion. You may have noted the slowly rotating heart centered in the P-O-M. I changed the Basic_Essence_Determinator_Units to Kitten-based Kutes but left the heart-based sensor because it is the most sensitive device I have ever found across the multiverse. Hearts even pick up vibes that never happened, which is why the false-negative coding is almost 4,300 lines long and people struggle with it so frequently. But the beer bottle was harder – no false negatives with beer. Sure, wasted opportunities and false-heart-positives, but.

P.S.: During the testing phase I went to a world and I rezzed close to LadyJo Martin. I can’t tell if it was her, AFK, or her NPC because she was just one of thousands of avatars that don’t talk to me when I show up. Can’t be clear about the source, but the P-O-M slammed up into Kitten range; the straps got a little tight, if I’m not being too subtle. But that’s why we run these soft roll-outs, all part of the pilot program, and getting it right.

Tiammesh-WhisperWoods_01_009
It appears that the needle is jammed into the Kitten zone. Darn thing is brand new …

If you see me wearing the Passion-O-Meter, don’t ask for an individual reading, it’s regional. See you on the other side.

Cheers, Reyn.

Ghost on My List

atoll_026_picmonkeyedShe has done it again and as always, I followed. Cica Ghost has a new display of imagination and emotion. Silent screaming houses, twisted trees, and deformed faces reflecting fear and loneliness – in an dark, umber atmosphere. Just like high school 🙂

atoll_023_picmonkeyedActually, I was a ski instructor who dated the Valedictorian; compared to that, the environment occasionally merely felt wistful.  Small uncertainties creeping around in your mind. After a fellow SL person wearing a massive T-Rex avatar arrived and shoved me into the ditch system it felt a little more certain: something bad might happen.

Yet the ditches were not crowded, provided a fascinating perspective, and went everywhere, kind of a ditchspective exploration. Like a rat. A wistful rat ditchspective. Crazier than a ditch-rat’s perspective. Now I get it.

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Night%20Atoll/36/185/43

atoll_006I encourage you to visit, I encourage you to try the ditches, I encourage you to try the poses in the windows and to feel the umber atmosphere, I encourage you to take the balloon ride around to soak it all in: peaceful and forbidding.

I love this place; it’s better than high school.

If you can’t be good, do good. See you on the other side. Cheers, Reyn.

Pretty Things

Mas Song_001_picmonkeyed
Reprinted with or without permission from VisionZ November-December 2015 Issue. 90 Pages of good stuff about the open grids.

As a Fashion Maven preparing for Christmas I recognize the need other people will have to find nice Christmassy places to get Christmassy stuff and as importantly, Christmassy clothing. I myself have already added a red tinge to my shirt and a greeny tinge to my kilt: I am the essential Christmas Poster Avatar now. [Editor’s Note: Not shown in any image]Winter_2_011_picmonkeyed.png

Christmas Fashion for males: experience and shopping has led me to believe there is one outfit available for males. A Santa suit. And I’d be wrong because of course you can wear antlers and a red nose. I’m even wronger, as you can get a free Snowperson Avatar for Males on Kitely. For Females at Christmas, Fashion is an Imperative full of Potential.

Where to start? I started with shawnkmaloney Craftgrid’s ever-growing Christmas-themed sims list posted on Google +:

  • login.greatcanadiangrid.ca:8002:Christmas
  • login.greatcanadiangrid.ca:8002:Marina Bay 2
  • hypergrid.org:8002:World of Seasons
  • seleacore.com:8002:Winter’s Freebies
  • seleacore.com:8002:Winter’s Magic
  • hg.osgrid.org:80:Christmas Isle
  • grid.kitely.com:8002:CHRISTMAS ISLAND

 

Mas Song_2_003_picmonkeyedStarting down the list; The GCG Christmas sim:

I purchased a set of 10 cartoon trees from Linda Kellie – make my place look like a Winter Wonderland. Checkmark on that. And in the Donna Anna store I found a free Santa Suit – the only Christmas clothing for males (wrong) and checkmark pretty much ready for the season now, (and I noted a hot elf outfit). Inside Country Christmas I found Women’s Underwear-looking outfits by Bambie Love.

And that’s when it came to me.

Mas Song_3_001_picmonkeyed
It’s more than making lists of crap to buy for people

Christmas should be more than a checklist. It is a reason to share joy and wonder and to engage people in feeling bigger and better about themselves, just like every other season, but now we have joyous, seasonal music designed to make you feel better about spending or sharing your money. Now, we are ready!

 

To the tune of Winter Wonderland if you please:

Winter_002_picmonkeyed.pngLacey things, the wife is missing.

Didn’t ask, for her permission

I’m wearing her clothes,

Her silk panty hose.

Walking around in women’s underwear.

 

Winter_5_007_picmonkeyedIn the store, there’s a teddy.

With little straps, like spaghetti.

It holds me so tight,

Like handcuffs at night.

Walking around in women’s underwear

 

Winter_2_006_picmonkeyed.pngIn the office there’s a guy named Melvin.

He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.

He’ll say “Are you ready?”

I’ll say, “Whoa man! Lets wait until the wife is out of town.”

Winter_5_007_picmonkeyedLater on, if you wanna,

We can dress, like Madonna.

Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.

Walking around in women’s underwear.**

While a bit chilly for lingerie and strolling about in the open air, (as a Male – I characterized it as “bracing”) please consider visiting these seasonally-themed places, meeting strangers, and wishing them Peace of Mind, Health, and Prosperity. And wish them Joy. I wish you Joy.

Winter_2_010_picmonkeyed.pngDo good, see you on the other side.

And to all a good night. Reyn

**Lyrics by Bob Rivers